My Life's Song/Video

Everybody has one song that sums up their lives or accurately expresses how they are feeling at any one given time. Below here is mine. I will discuss the symbolisim after you see the video.

BRING ME TO LIFE (Evanescence)

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I saw the animated version of this song and I really did not like it. I like this version because you see Amy Lee having nightmares in her bed and standing on the precipice and falling and then being caught.

The precipice and falling I think symbolize living in constant fear. This is a awful feeling. The word FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. I have had nighmares that I was falling. They were so scary that I lost many a nights sleep because of them. It is not my intention to freak anybody out. I write this merely to share some of my life experiences (some pleasant some not so pleasant).

This song defines my life up to this point. It is time for me to make some changes, stop living in FEAR and bring myself to life.

Coco and Duke In The Flesh

Here are some recent pictures I took of my cats. I hope you all enjoy them.

WTF...Call The Police!!!

I went to my apartment to finish last minute things before Monday's move. I walked to the front door and noticed it was slightly ajar. I knew right then something's up. When I walked in, I found boxes that were once taped opened. When I went into my bedroom I found it ransacked. My hope chest was gone through the contents all over the floor.

My DVD player was stolen and all of my DVD's and VHS movies. I know the perp was a male. He used my toilet and did not bother to flush and he left the seat up. What a fuckin asshole. Something like this happened to me a little over a year ago. I had a load of laundry in the dryer 45 minutes later the clothes and my laundry basket were gone. The nerve of some people. Who would want to steal somebody's worn underwear? Beats the hell out of me!!!

Below, here are crime scene photos.
































Well, I am glad I am moving out of this apartment and this neighborhood. Maybe my new home will be a litter bit better.

No Longer A Virgin

Ha Ha! Made you look. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter. Every since my brother Jim and Lynette started doing Karaoke in the 90's they have always said that they were going to get me up on stage to sing. Through the years they have always said I was a chicken shit for not getting up to sing. So after many years they have popped my cherry, I am no longer a Karaoke virgin. I chose to do Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. I know I sucked at it, but what the fuck do you want from a virgin, for it to be awesome?



So this is me doing my song. Yes I have gained weight since I have been unemployed. That is going to change fast. I hope to get better as time goes on. I love to sing so I think I have found my outlet for a amateur.

"Food" For Thought

Well, I hope everybody in blogland had a safe and happy 4th.

As everybody is aware, I am currently unemployed. I have been asking myself why. I am thinking that maybe the reason is that I have FINALLY realized that I fucked up big time when it came to a career choice and I do NOT want to go back into corprate America for another round of panic attacks and heavy duty stress. I know that a career change is imminate, but I do not know how to begin. I do not know if it is even possible. Maybe I am just too old to make a change now. I just don't know!!! I am deeply perplexed.

When I was in college, I did very well in researching and writing papers. So something tells me that I should have pursued a career as a writer.

THE HEART TOOK OVER THE BRAIN!!!

Another thing I have been pondering is pursuing my poetry. I do not know how to get that ball rolling either. It may lead to something I really enjoy; music.

She sits on her bed with her head in the clouds as she says to herself what now!!!

I sit and ponder all of these questions as I lay in my bed getting fat on CC Cookie dough ice cream and watching sit-com reruns on TV until the wee hours of the morning.

I don't mean to depress anyone really, I guess I just have too much time on my hands. I think I am throwing a "mini" pity party which I hope will end soon.

Yet Another Poem

This is one of my favorite poems. I hope you all enjoy it.

To heal she now feels the pain and cries the tears,
She has not done so for many years.
She lies alone in her bed in the dead of night,
She wants someone to hold her and take away the fright.

She cries because she was made an adult before it
was time to be one,
She could never go out and have any fun.
She cries for her lost youth and innocence,
She feels that her whole life she has done penance.

She cries for not experiencing a first true love,
Pure and white just like a dove.
She cries for what she did to survive,
She has never felt truly alive.

She cries for the reality that she is alone,
She wants someone to find her and bring her home.
She cries for the lost hope she sometimes feels inside,
She wants to pull over the covers and hide.

She cries for making bad choices,
She has always listened to the voices.
She cries for the way her life has turned out,
Now all she wants to do is scream and shout.

She cries for the person she once was and the person
she has become,
She still hopes that some day those two will become one.

Yes...It's Another Poem

The Happy Little Pill

I take the happy little pill,
I feel like I take it against my will.
They make me feel I lost part of me,
I want to stop taking them don't you see.
It helps me manage my disease,
They think it will help me live life with some ease.


Before the pill I lived by mine not society's rules,
Even now I still won't sink on that ship of fools.
Come hell or high water I will not be led to slaughter.