Happy Blogversary To Me!!

It was one year ago today that I started my blog. I have lost some friends and made some new ones. Molly, Jen, Shannin, Sid, Genelle, Sans and Renah-you guys are the best!!!

I have also encountered some freak shows and some Seth wannabes-Yes, Matt I am talking to you, you little troll! All in all it has been a very interesting year. With each post my writing talent has improved and my confidence heightened-things I thought would never happen.

For your reading pleasure, I have included my first post. Everybody please take care.



Saturday, September 03, 2005

ANOTHER AMERICAN EPIDEMIC
Here in the land of the free and the home of the brave we have AIDS, the homeless, the "war" on drugs and any form of debauchery known to man (specially here in Las Vegas). Something new has joined the ranks, adolesecent suicide.I had dinner last night with my soon to be sister-in-law. We were talking about different subjects until the topic of her daughter's recent suicide came up. As the conversation progressed, she told me that since her daughter's death, at least 3 more young people under the age of 18 have taken their own lives.She told me a story of a 12 year old boy who has a family history of violence and abuse. The parents are divorced and the family court judge decided on joint custody for this boy and his siblings. The children clearly did not want to live with the father. The father is a ex-marine with a history of abuse. He also kept guns and ammo in the home where children could easily gain access. Before this boy took his life he said to his brother "I am doing this so you don't have to live with dad."As I was sitting there listening to this story, I could not help but be appalled by some of the obvious flaws in the family court system. How could any judge in his/her right mind mandate joint custody when it was clear that these kids were being subjected to abuse? Something else disturbed me as well. How could any responsible parent leave guns and ammo in the path of children?There is such a need for change here in Nevada on how troubled adolescents are handled by the judicial system. My sister-in-law is slowly becoming a advocate for these long overdue changes. It had to take the suicide of a 16 year old girl to make the Nevada legislature finally stand up and take notice. My only comfort is that she did not die in vain.I have included a link to "Out of the Darkness" a website dedicated to suicide prevention and awareness. Their annual fundraiser/walk is scheduled for October 8, 2005 in which I will be participating. Hopefully we will have raised some awareness for the latest American Epidemic.

A Day of Victory!!!

On the way to jail, police say he admitted having sex with a minor, but in court today, a former counselor changed his story, pleading not guilty to 27 counts of sexual assault. 29 year old Barry Bergmann met the girl at a treatment center for troubled teens where he worked as a supervisor. Barry Bergmann pleaded not guilty to sexual assault against one female victim under 16.



The female victim under 16 was my niece Brittany whose picture is on the right. Partially due to this crime she committed suicide. I had the opportunity on Friday to go to Indian Springs with Brittany's parents to Barry's physc board hearing. This hearing was to determine if Barry was still a high risk to re-offend. Here are some excerpts from the statements her mother Lynette and I made at the hearing.


Lynette's Comments:

"I am here speaking to you as a survivor of a victim who can only be heard from those of us who have survived through the events, in my opinion caused by this inmate's actions."

"I am now her voice for all to hear. I did not get to see her graduate or start college. I will never get to see her walk down the isle or start a family."

"Barry Bergmann got 2-10 years and I got a life sentence."

My Comments:

"I do not know what was going on in his mind when he committed these crimes. It is my belief that he should have never been working in the mental health profession dealing with emotionally unbalanced people; especially teenagers. To me he took advantage of a 13 year old child and played with her head."

"She was found in her cell hanging from a bedsheet. As long as I live I will never get that image out of my head."

"Brittany had the potential to be anything she wanted. Those of us left behind are left to forever wonder what she would have become."

After Lynette, Jim and I addressed the board, the board questioned Barry thoroughly. In the course of Barry's remarks, he FINALLY admitted that he was partially responsible for Brittany's death. A statement which made Lynette very happy. Barry felt at the time he committed these crimes that he has helping Brittany. One doctor on the board did not buy it. He said something to the effect of you actually thought you were helping when you asked your dick be put into someone's mouth. My brother at this point was ready to kill the SOB. He feels as I do that this guy is the worst kind of sexual predator. Barry basically lied his ass off about everything. It did not take the board long to decide he was still a high risk to re-offend.

With this determination by the board, Barry will be denied parole next month. So this was our day of victory. After we left the hearing we all cried and hugged each other. After that he went to a bar a had couple of drinks to relax and celebrate.

My Life's Song/Video

Everybody has one song that sums up their lives or accurately expresses how they are feeling at any one given time. Below here is mine. I will discuss the symbolisim after you see the video.

BRING ME TO LIFE (Evanescence)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

I saw the animated version of this song and I really did not like it. I like this version because you see Amy Lee having nightmares in her bed and standing on the precipice and falling and then being caught.

The precipice and falling I think symbolize living in constant fear. This is a awful feeling. The word FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. I have had nighmares that I was falling. They were so scary that I lost many a nights sleep because of them. It is not my intention to freak anybody out. I write this merely to share some of my life experiences (some pleasant some not so pleasant).

This song defines my life up to this point. It is time for me to make some changes, stop living in FEAR and bring myself to life.

Coco and Duke In The Flesh

Here are some recent pictures I took of my cats. I hope you all enjoy them.

WTF...Call The Police!!!

I went to my apartment to finish last minute things before Monday's move. I walked to the front door and noticed it was slightly ajar. I knew right then something's up. When I walked in, I found boxes that were once taped opened. When I went into my bedroom I found it ransacked. My hope chest was gone through the contents all over the floor.

My DVD player was stolen and all of my DVD's and VHS movies. I know the perp was a male. He used my toilet and did not bother to flush and he left the seat up. What a fuckin asshole. Something like this happened to me a little over a year ago. I had a load of laundry in the dryer 45 minutes later the clothes and my laundry basket were gone. The nerve of some people. Who would want to steal somebody's worn underwear? Beats the hell out of me!!!

Below, here are crime scene photos.
































Well, I am glad I am moving out of this apartment and this neighborhood. Maybe my new home will be a litter bit better.

No Longer A Virgin

Ha Ha! Made you look. Get your filthy minds out of the gutter. Every since my brother Jim and Lynette started doing Karaoke in the 90's they have always said that they were going to get me up on stage to sing. Through the years they have always said I was a chicken shit for not getting up to sing. So after many years they have popped my cherry, I am no longer a Karaoke virgin. I chose to do Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. I know I sucked at it, but what the fuck do you want from a virgin, for it to be awesome?



So this is me doing my song. Yes I have gained weight since I have been unemployed. That is going to change fast. I hope to get better as time goes on. I love to sing so I think I have found my outlet for a amateur.

"Food" For Thought

Well, I hope everybody in blogland had a safe and happy 4th.

As everybody is aware, I am currently unemployed. I have been asking myself why. I am thinking that maybe the reason is that I have FINALLY realized that I fucked up big time when it came to a career choice and I do NOT want to go back into corprate America for another round of panic attacks and heavy duty stress. I know that a career change is imminate, but I do not know how to begin. I do not know if it is even possible. Maybe I am just too old to make a change now. I just don't know!!! I am deeply perplexed.

When I was in college, I did very well in researching and writing papers. So something tells me that I should have pursued a career as a writer.

THE HEART TOOK OVER THE BRAIN!!!

Another thing I have been pondering is pursuing my poetry. I do not know how to get that ball rolling either. It may lead to something I really enjoy; music.

She sits on her bed with her head in the clouds as she says to herself what now!!!

I sit and ponder all of these questions as I lay in my bed getting fat on CC Cookie dough ice cream and watching sit-com reruns on TV until the wee hours of the morning.

I don't mean to depress anyone really, I guess I just have too much time on my hands. I think I am throwing a "mini" pity party which I hope will end soon.