Rest In Peace..."Baby Girl"...For Now!!!

On Tuesday 9/12/06 Lynette, Jim and I went to the state prison(again) to address the parole board against Barry being paroled early(Refer to the 8/27/06 post for more background). This time we had added more ammunition-Brittany's best friend Rachel! I know she was very nervous but she did just fine. If she can go on Face to Face she can do ANYTHING!!! Barry will not be paroled, we went there to convince the parole board that he should not be eligible again until August 2009. Like in the 8/27/06 post I am going to let everybody read excerpts from comments that were made to the board by Rachel and Lynette.

Rachel's Comments:

"We were pretty much inseparable. Once we were both discharged from the hospital we were by each other's side. There was no Brittany without Rachel and no Rachel without Brittany and everyone knew it. We spent every weekend at the mall, my house or her house. We made so many memories together. I can still hear her voice over the phone with her cheerful 'Hey Baby Girl'. She was and will always be my best friend in the world.

My best friend is gone. Brittany and I had so many plans and now those are gone. I planned on being in my 50's and calling her on the phone to hear her cheerful 'Hey Baby Girl'. That will never get to happen. Please give the maximum time before he is eligible for parole again so he can't hurt someone else's Best Friend."


Lynette's Comments:

"He was able to somehow get lifetime supervision removed from his sentencing. I cannot fathom how a judge could remove that from a sexual predator. After she died I was left with the heartbreaking task of going through her things. I found three pictures she had printed from news stories online, tucked away in a little pocket of one of her poetry folders. On the back of each of them she wrote a small caption. The one that I will always remember reads...'I am sorry I ruined your life. I never meant to hurt you. I am sorry I told. As God as my witness someday I will make things right'. In my opinion on April 11, 2005 she chose to do that. She committed suicide while locked up. It may be just a coincidence but while reading many of her writings, I believe this was her way of making things right.

As of April 12, 2005 I do not feel that even doing the full 10 years could even come close to justifying what he did... I am begging you to please give the maximum amount of time (which I believe is 3 years) until the next time WE have to go through the pain of loosing her all over again. I don't think it should read the parole board will review this case to determine his next parole eligibility date. It should read the parole board will review his case to make his victim or victims relive all the pain his actions have caused. That is just how I feel. It may be too late to keep my daughter safe from those who pray on the innocent but you have the power to keep other families from having their children's innocence stolen".


Now all we have to do is wait for the decision from the board. We are all hoping that he will not be eligible until August of '09. What I have taken away from this experience is that we as victims DO have a voice and that we should get over our fear and speak out. In Brittany's case -WE her family and friends-are HER voice. This is one case in which I do believe that the system does work. Both Rachel and I have regrets about things that have happened in regards to Brittany. I firmly believe her spirit is saying to us softly "It is Ok I know you loved me."


After the hearing we went back to the house and Jim made a great dinner to celebrate our victory once again.

We Shall NEVER Forget!!!

" AMERICA !" I don't know who put this together but, they deserve a lot of credit. Osama Bin Laden, your time is short; We'd rather you die, than come to court. Why are you hiding if it was in God's name? You're just a punk with a turban; a pathetic shame. I have a question, about your theory and laws; "How come you never die for the cause?" Is it because you're a coward who counts on others? Well, here in America , we stand by our brothers. As is usual, you failed in your mission;If you expected pure chaos, you can keep on wishing Americans are now focused and stronger than ever; Your death has become our next endeavor. What you tried to kill, doesn't live in our walls; It's not in buildings or shopping malls. If all of our structures came crashing down; It would still be there, safe and sound. Because pride and courage can't be destroyed; Even if the towers leave a deep void.. We'll band together and fill the holes We'll bury our dead and bless their souls. But then our energy will focus on you; And you'll feel the wrath of the Red, White and Blue. So slither and hide like a snake in the grass; Because America's coming to kick your ass!!! Keep this email going.. PASS IT ON

Happy Blogversary To Me!!

It was one year ago today that I started my blog. I have lost some friends and made some new ones. Molly, Jen, Shannin, Sid, Genelle, Sans and Renah-you guys are the best!!!

I have also encountered some freak shows and some Seth wannabes-Yes, Matt I am talking to you, you little troll! All in all it has been a very interesting year. With each post my writing talent has improved and my confidence heightened-things I thought would never happen.

For your reading pleasure, I have included my first post. Everybody please take care.



Saturday, September 03, 2005

ANOTHER AMERICAN EPIDEMIC
Here in the land of the free and the home of the brave we have AIDS, the homeless, the "war" on drugs and any form of debauchery known to man (specially here in Las Vegas). Something new has joined the ranks, adolesecent suicide.I had dinner last night with my soon to be sister-in-law. We were talking about different subjects until the topic of her daughter's recent suicide came up. As the conversation progressed, she told me that since her daughter's death, at least 3 more young people under the age of 18 have taken their own lives.She told me a story of a 12 year old boy who has a family history of violence and abuse. The parents are divorced and the family court judge decided on joint custody for this boy and his siblings. The children clearly did not want to live with the father. The father is a ex-marine with a history of abuse. He also kept guns and ammo in the home where children could easily gain access. Before this boy took his life he said to his brother "I am doing this so you don't have to live with dad."As I was sitting there listening to this story, I could not help but be appalled by some of the obvious flaws in the family court system. How could any judge in his/her right mind mandate joint custody when it was clear that these kids were being subjected to abuse? Something else disturbed me as well. How could any responsible parent leave guns and ammo in the path of children?There is such a need for change here in Nevada on how troubled adolescents are handled by the judicial system. My sister-in-law is slowly becoming a advocate for these long overdue changes. It had to take the suicide of a 16 year old girl to make the Nevada legislature finally stand up and take notice. My only comfort is that she did not die in vain.I have included a link to "Out of the Darkness" a website dedicated to suicide prevention and awareness. Their annual fundraiser/walk is scheduled for October 8, 2005 in which I will be participating. Hopefully we will have raised some awareness for the latest American Epidemic.

A Day of Victory!!!

On the way to jail, police say he admitted having sex with a minor, but in court today, a former counselor changed his story, pleading not guilty to 27 counts of sexual assault. 29 year old Barry Bergmann met the girl at a treatment center for troubled teens where he worked as a supervisor. Barry Bergmann pleaded not guilty to sexual assault against one female victim under 16.



The female victim under 16 was my niece Brittany whose picture is on the right. Partially due to this crime she committed suicide. I had the opportunity on Friday to go to Indian Springs with Brittany's parents to Barry's physc board hearing. This hearing was to determine if Barry was still a high risk to re-offend. Here are some excerpts from the statements her mother Lynette and I made at the hearing.


Lynette's Comments:

"I am here speaking to you as a survivor of a victim who can only be heard from those of us who have survived through the events, in my opinion caused by this inmate's actions."

"I am now her voice for all to hear. I did not get to see her graduate or start college. I will never get to see her walk down the isle or start a family."

"Barry Bergmann got 2-10 years and I got a life sentence."

My Comments:

"I do not know what was going on in his mind when he committed these crimes. It is my belief that he should have never been working in the mental health profession dealing with emotionally unbalanced people; especially teenagers. To me he took advantage of a 13 year old child and played with her head."

"She was found in her cell hanging from a bedsheet. As long as I live I will never get that image out of my head."

"Brittany had the potential to be anything she wanted. Those of us left behind are left to forever wonder what she would have become."

After Lynette, Jim and I addressed the board, the board questioned Barry thoroughly. In the course of Barry's remarks, he FINALLY admitted that he was partially responsible for Brittany's death. A statement which made Lynette very happy. Barry felt at the time he committed these crimes that he has helping Brittany. One doctor on the board did not buy it. He said something to the effect of you actually thought you were helping when you asked your dick be put into someone's mouth. My brother at this point was ready to kill the SOB. He feels as I do that this guy is the worst kind of sexual predator. Barry basically lied his ass off about everything. It did not take the board long to decide he was still a high risk to re-offend.

With this determination by the board, Barry will be denied parole next month. So this was our day of victory. After we left the hearing we all cried and hugged each other. After that he went to a bar a had couple of drinks to relax and celebrate.

My Life's Song/Video

Everybody has one song that sums up their lives or accurately expresses how they are feeling at any one given time. Below here is mine. I will discuss the symbolisim after you see the video.

BRING ME TO LIFE (Evanescence)

Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

I saw the animated version of this song and I really did not like it. I like this version because you see Amy Lee having nightmares in her bed and standing on the precipice and falling and then being caught.

The precipice and falling I think symbolize living in constant fear. This is a awful feeling. The word FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real. I have had nighmares that I was falling. They were so scary that I lost many a nights sleep because of them. It is not my intention to freak anybody out. I write this merely to share some of my life experiences (some pleasant some not so pleasant).

This song defines my life up to this point. It is time for me to make some changes, stop living in FEAR and bring myself to life.

Coco and Duke In The Flesh

Here are some recent pictures I took of my cats. I hope you all enjoy them.

WTF...Call The Police!!!

I went to my apartment to finish last minute things before Monday's move. I walked to the front door and noticed it was slightly ajar. I knew right then something's up. When I walked in, I found boxes that were once taped opened. When I went into my bedroom I found it ransacked. My hope chest was gone through the contents all over the floor.

My DVD player was stolen and all of my DVD's and VHS movies. I know the perp was a male. He used my toilet and did not bother to flush and he left the seat up. What a fuckin asshole. Something like this happened to me a little over a year ago. I had a load of laundry in the dryer 45 minutes later the clothes and my laundry basket were gone. The nerve of some people. Who would want to steal somebody's worn underwear? Beats the hell out of me!!!

Below, here are crime scene photos.
































Well, I am glad I am moving out of this apartment and this neighborhood. Maybe my new home will be a litter bit better.