Falling off the wagon...Reality Bites!!!

Some time ago I posted a list of goals that I would like to achieve during 2009. Well some of them have been a real challenge to even attempt.

One of my primary goals was to try and quit smoking. I did it once before and it really sucked. I continue to ask myself why did I start up again? I think it was I was getting one shitty job after another when I moved to Vegas. Well that excuse no longer holds water. I am doing what I want to do now-writing poetry and working for 4 months which suits me just fine. I tried to cut back to slowly ween myself off of nicotine. I went so far as to buy healthy snacks to satisfy the cravings. I am also chewing lots of gum and excessively brushing my teeth. Needless to say I am going to try the cold turkey once again. Reality Bites!

Another goal was to focus on my continued weight loss and fitness goals. I have temporarily "fallen off the wagon." I am still watching what I eat but I lack the motivation to exercise. I know my health and well being should be the ONLY motivating factor but as the cliche goes-old habits die hard. It is hard to think a different way when you are used to the negative all the time. There is some hope here. I keep imagining myself thinner and toner. If you can visualize it then it is possible and not far behind. Reality Bites Even MORE!!!! I need a motivator!!

Now onto the new book. I am happy to report that I have sold two more copies of my current book. Just like the weight loss I am lacking inspiration and motivation. I do see a little bit of light here. I have had a few ideas in my head and have been writing them down. So I am hopeful that the writing will come. Reality REALLY Bites!!!

Lastly, I wanted to attend the HTC festival this year. This goal as been achieved. I got a pretty sweet bonus comp before and after taxes. So the trip is paid for. I am going to be helping with some of the planning and marketing the event. I have sent some of you a copy of the flyer. Any help you can give me will be appreciated. It makes me feel good that I will be doing something for others as well as myself. Thankful for small things!!!


So the message of this post is clear! Marie, get up off your butt, change the tapes because your new life is waiting for you!!!

HTC Annual Festival Dates Announced

This year's festival's dates and venue were recently announced. I am thrilled that I will be attending this year's event as a volunteer and having more of my work displayed.

When: October 17-24 2009

Where: Heart of Virginia Foundation Center for Integrated ArtsGrandin Gardens, 1731 Grandin Rd, Roanoke, Virginia

I have been asked to help promote the event on line and in the community. This is a great opportunity for me to get involved with a cause I really believe in. Most importantly I will be helping others and helping myself.

20 Days And Counting!!

Boy let me tell you, this tax season has been kicking my ass for real!!!! I am working out of two offices this year and I have seen some real funky shit!!! April 15th will be here before you know it.

This weekend H&R Block is offering free Second Looks, you may have seen it advertised on TV and heard it on the radio this week. I will be working for the next 20 days straight. Whoa Man!

The unfortunate thing about working so many hours is that I don't have time to cook healthy meals and it seems I am eating on the go. I have started to "fall off the wagon" so to speak. I have gained a little weight back which concerns me a bit. I am thinking however that once tax season is over I will get back to my normal eating and exercise routine and the weight I gained over the last 4 months will go away. It doesn't help matters that I am still mourning the loss of Duke. Only another pet lover can truly understand that pets are a part of the family. I do however plan on adopting another cat after tax season is over.

This has been a very productive season for me. I prepared close to 200 returns up until today. I expect to prepare at least 20-30 more before April 15th. I have been keeping a close eye on my projected bonus comp and I am looking at 5k+ easy. So giving up the office leader position was very financially profitable indeed.

I will be blogging and writing poetry on a regular basis after tax season is over. I figure I can live off my bonus comp for a couple of months if I spend wisely and pay some bills a couple of months ahead. I am going to bed soon because I have a 12 hour day tomorrow. I hope everybody is doing well.

A Relaxing Weekend

Well friends since my last post on 1/23/09 until Feburary 6 I have worked over 140 hours during the busiest time of the season. The reward was a nice paycheck on Friday! I got some of my return clients thousands of dollars in refunds. Right now in this struggling economy everybody needs their money and they need it fast!

After catching up on some bills, and buying groceries I was abel to spend some of my hard earned money on myself for a change. What a concept! I went to see one of my clients who just so happens to be a hair stylist. She redid my color, trimmed the dry ends and waxed my eyebrows. Boy do I look and feel human again!

So with the rush of the season over I do have some time to write and catch up with my on line friends. I plan to spend Sunday sleeping, cooking and reading! I hope everybody has a wonderful weekend.

I'm A 7!!!

Your Spiritual Number is Seven

You bring knowledge and wisdom into people's lives. You are an expert in many fields, and you give excellent advice. Right now, your life is about perfecting your skill set. You are almost a virtuoso at the thing you love best. With some practice, you'll get there. You are highly intelligent and intellectual. You have profound analytical skills. But you also have the soul of an artist. You long to create.

What's Your Spiritual Number?

The Letters

While in therapy, Carol suggested that I write letters to those who have hurt or wronged me as a healing tool. The opportunity has now presented itself to write letters to my abuser and my parents.

I have decided to contribute these letters to the Letters from Survivors book project. I hope these letters will finally help me take that final step-resolution and moving on.

There is the possibility however that when these letters are finally written and published that they will alienate me further from my family. That is a risk I am willing to take. I am willing to accept the consequences of my actions. I am thinking well the problem then is with THEM and not me.

I am estranged and avoid contact with my abuser. I wrote him off a long time ago. I went through the motions to try and have him in my life to please my mother. I now realize that I was living a lie. I won’t do it anymore! What concerns me now is that the rest of my family will not understand why I did this.

To us as survivors the answer is clear, to finally have some closure and reclaim our lives-the lives that were interrupted when we were abused and lived in constant fear and silence.

The letters will take a lot out of me emotionally. I will write them at different times. When thoughts come into my head, I write them down and then piece them together later. That is how I wrote my book, one step at a time. It is a lot like healing, taking it one day and one step at a time.

I personally want to thank the creator of the project for presenting this wonderful opportunity. I know however that it is up to me to heal and change my life. I am hopeful if a survivor is still sitting out there living in silence and pain, may our stories and letters offer hope and inspiration.

It's That Time Again

Well friends it is that time of the year again! I am sure you are all anxiously waiting to get thoes W2's and 1099's and pulling out your hair in the process! I have found that tax season brings out the worst in people!

I am working for H&R Block again this year. I decided not to be a office leader this year due to the fact that for the last two years I haven't made any money which I think is bullshit. So in my infinite wisdom I decided to let go of that role and become a preparer. I was concerned that my clients from last year would not be able to find me. Some of them have already called me to schedule appointments. COOL!

I moved to an office where they do a lot of self-employed and rental clients-the two areas I am good at-these returns are high in billing. So needless to say I will make some money this year.

If anyone out there needs some tax questions answered please feel free to send me a e-mail.