After many years, I have found a “happy” pill that actually treats the mental affliction that I have. During my course, I have been treated with Prozac, Wellbutrin, Buspar and Lexapro. None of these seemed to work all that well for me. I recently went to the doctor and told him that these drugs were not working so he started me on Zoloft. Yes, I am finally coming out of the closet. I am mentally ill. Just in case anybody is wondering, I did not ask for this shit or want to be so fucked up that I need medication to function. I am just playing the hand out which sucks.
My official diagnosis is Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Most of you already know the symptoms so I will not rehash them. Off my medication, the symptoms take over my life. I have debilitating negative self-talk, fits of uncontrollable rage, anger, panic and anxiety. These things often scare people. At my former job, I was often told that I scare people and I was often labeled as a “time bomb waiting to go off.” One thing that really pisses me off is people’s lack of education, understanding and compassion when it comes to mental illness. I guess people are afraid of what they don’t and don’t want to understand. I just have one thing to say, get over your fear we don’t need it!
On this new medication, the chronic depression I feel is better. I still sleep well into the day and I lack motivation to do everyday things like clean my house, do laundry et cetera. All I feel like doing these days is lie in my bed and watch TV. Writing has helped a lot. I look forward to finishing my book, which will pinpoint the causes of my illness. The voices in my head are not so rampant they are somewhat under control. I am concerned that I will not be able to continue my treatment due to no health insurance. I know that there is support and help available I just have to find it.
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No-not really. I see a couselor about twice a month. My family is not functioning at the moment, which is sad but none the less a reality. I wish I had a special man to help me through this. It makes the holidays lonely. How do you like the changes to the blog? I need to make some changes in my life. The blog is just a baby step.
I will just focus on my writing. It helps a lot. I hope that someday I can make money writing because I really enjoy it. Please take care. Thanks for dropping by!
Zoloft is one of the few meds that's worked for me. Though for me it loses its effectiveness after awhile and I have to stop, wait a few months and go back on it.
I'm just curious, because of the symptoms you listed and the whole "time bomb" thing, have you been evaluated for other mental illnesses within the last 6 mos to a year? I know a lot of symptoms overlap, and I don't know a whole lot about PTSD, but it seems like there might be something more going on than just PTSD.
I know I don't know much about you, so I'm sorry if I'm sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. I was just curious is all.
I've already forgotten what your site looked like before, but I'm liking the pink.
Sid, PTSD has been my diagnosis since I entered treatment in 1998. I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago and confirmed the initial diagnosis. You are right to a point the symptoms do overlap. In doing research for my book and talking to my doctor I found that I have all of the major physical symptoms such as flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, sleep disturbances, exaggerated startled response et cetera.
Depression, anxiety, anger agression and panic are the psychological outcomes of this disorder. I do not mind at all sharing. I encourage education and understanding.
When you have some time, please do some research on the topic if you can. Here is a link that you can refer to
www.helpguide.org/mental/post_traumatic_stress_disorder_symptoms_treatment.htm
Hope the information had been helpful. Please take care.
I like to go the gym and work out. It seems my mood is better. I concentrate and write better after I work out.
Have you read the "Our Town"post? Well a fact about that post is that I wrote it after working out for two hours.
Another way I cope is by sel-medicating. It is not the best or the healthiest way to cope. Fuck it, Rome was not built in a day!
Thanks for your comments and sincere concern. Thanks for dropping by and do so as often as you can.
I'll definitely take a look at that link. My exhubby has PTSD from being in the army so I've seen the effect it has on people. I just wasn't aware of the anger aspect. I had a therapist once try to give me that diagnosis, but when I read the symptoms, most didn't apply. I'm building a mental health website (when I'm not too lazy to work on it) so this link will help when I get to the PTSD section. THANKS!!
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