Happy New Year!

Well another year has come and gone. 2008 has had some major ups and downs. I look forward to 2009. I don't make resolutions. I do have goals. Here is my list of things I would like to accomplish in the new year!

Quit Smoking

Tone and reshape my body

Publish my second book of poetry

Earn or save enough money to attend the HTC arts festival in 2009

Take some art classes.


These goals are very realistic and attainable if I put my mind to it!

I hope all of my friends have a safe and happy new year's celebration!!!!

Letting Go

During the last couple of weeks I have been letting go of some things.

First off I had to let my cat Duke go by putting him to sleep. That was such a heartbreaking thing for me to do. I feel empty and so alone now it is very sad and depressing.

About a week or so ago Safe Nest came to my house to pick up clothing donations. My roommate told me to get rid of all of my oversized clothing now that I am much thinner. This was easy and hard at the same time. I have been reduced to a few pairs of pants and a couple of dresses.

I had a talk with my roommate about people who are in my life who I have met when I was in a self destructive phase. They really don't keep in touch with me at all and it is hurtful and frustrating. I told her about one person who has repeatedly pushed my buttons, used and hurt me to their advantage. She asked me why do I want to maintain a friendship with this person after all that this individual has done to cause me pain. I told her that I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and then she called me a masochist. It was then I realized that she was RIGHT!!!

The thoughts turning in my head are these, I let all of this go what do I have left? What do I have to look forward to? What can I do to replace what I have lost?

RIP!

Today I had the heart wrenching task of putting my baby Duke to sleep. This morning he was crying in pain and walking funny. I picked him up and put him on my bed. He was just lying there with his eyes open and unresponsive. It was at that point I knew I had to let him go to stop his suffering. When I put him in his carrier he was crying and whimpering in pain.

When I got to the shelter the volunteer told me that it was not from the liver problems it was due to a broken neck. I have been trying to get around how could he have broken his neck? The only thing I could come up with is that sometime during the night he injured his neck (or spinal cord) by possibly jumping off the bed.

The only thing I find comfort in is that I did the humane thing and ended his suffering. I am going to miss him terribly. However when I play back the days events I burst into tears!

Rest In Peace my friend!

Sorry To Being MIA...Again!

I have been feeling a little blah lately. I guess one could say I am a little depressed. I don't have the urge to write even though I know there is more that needs to come out!

It is a common occurrence that people get depressed during the holiday season. With the staggering unemployment rate around the country I am not surprised! I do however have my job during tax season but that is not helping me now!

I am doing some volunteer work for HTC which I think is great! I hope this will keep my mind off of things for a little bit.

Duke is doing a little better. The milk thistle treatment seems to be working. He is eating and using the litter box every day. This is very encouraging indeed.

I hope everybody has a wonderful Thanksgiving! I plan to spend the day at home with my roommates.

America Has Spoken!!!!

I am glad that this election is over! However I am thrilled that America has spoken for change. I was very impressed with the victory speech. The election is the first step. Our new president has many challenges ahead of him. He first NEEDS to unify the country before these changes can take place.

We will all be watching and waiting. We all need to do our part to make this dream of change a reality!

What's Going On

Just thought I would give you an update on what's going on. Duke (my cat) has been using the litter box for the last couple of days. I guess some of the harmful toxins are starting to come out of his body. I have been spoon feeding him for the last few days and I guess it is starting to work. I felt a little bad because I thought it was abusive, but my roommate said you are doing this because you love him and it is not considered abuse at all.

My recent temp assignment ended yesterday. I talked with the agency and they are doing their best to find me another assignment for next week. I guess since I have been making some money for them the will work to find me assignments. I just have to have a little faith that things will work out for the best.

I recently joined Facebook to promote the book, and I found a lot of people there that I went to high school with. Isin't this a small world or what? Anyway, I got a call from one of my fellow classmates last night and we talked for about 30 minutes or so. It feels so good to reconnect with old friends again. One of the things I still struggle with in the healing process is social situations. This has gotten better over time though. I am more confident and happy these days and it makes me want to reach out to people again. What a good feeling that is.

I have noticed lately that since I am not working steady, that I have been eating out of boredom, I have to be very careful here not to regress back into old behaviors. I have worked so hard to get this weight off and I will have to work even harder to keep it off. So what to do? Well I can work on my writing and finish up 3 short stories I have been working on and start walking again. I found that the local community center has a gym there and for a membership fee of $80 (for the year) I can have unlimited use of the facility. Since I am still financially strapped it will have to wait a bit.

So there you have it. A glimpse of what is going on in my exciting life. LOL!

Another MeMe!

Got this one from fellow blogger buddy Rain. She sure does loves these meme"s.

MOUTHOLOGY



Q. What is your salad dressing of choice?

A. Ranch

Q. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?

A. I enjoy Del Taco

Q. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?

A. I love Joe’s Crab Shack

Q. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?

A. The typical 20% or more if the service is really good

Q. What food could you eats every day for two weeks and not get sick of?

A: I can't think of anything I could eat every day for two weeks without getting sick

Q. What are your pizza toppings of choice?

A. Chicken, Mushrooms and Onions

Q. What do you like to put on your toast?

A: Butter or Cream Cheese



TECHNOLOGY



Q. What is your wallpaper on your computer?

A: The Healing Through Creativity Festival Promo

Q. How many televisions are in your house?

A: Five. One in bedroom and one in the garage


BIOLOGY




Q. Are you right-handed or left-handed?

A. Left-handed (we are in our right minds)


Q. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?

A. 3 Pounds of excess breast tissue


Q. When was the last time you had a cavity?

A. This year! Ouch!


Q. What is the last heavy item you lifted?

A. My cat’s litter box filled with heavy litter


Q. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?

A. Nope



BULLSH*TOLOGY




Q. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?

A. No.

Q. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?

A. Have not thought about it much


Q. What color do you think looks best on you?

A. Coral


Q. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?

A. Don’t recall


Q. Have you ever saved someone’s life?

A. Yes. Mine!


Q. Has someone ever saved yours?

A. No!



DAREOLOGY




Q. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?

A. What’s up? I am not cheap and slutty! WTF!


Q. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?

A. No way man!


Q. Would you never blog again for $50,000?

A. No-writing and blogging is my link to the outside world right now. I am hoping to change that.


Q. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?

A. If I looked good naked maybe. Working on that too!


Q. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1000?

A. Hell No!!!


Q. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?

A. No-there are worse things than death!

DUMBOLOGY



Q: What is in your left pocket?

A: I am currently wearing clothes without pockets



Q: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?

A: Never seen the movie



Q: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?

A: Both


Q: Do you sit or stand in the shower?

A: Stand-Shit I am not ready for AARP yet!

Q: Could you live with roommates?

A: Already doing that!


Q: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?

A: None


Q: Last time you had a run-in with the cops?

A: Have not been that fortunate to have a run in with the establishment


Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?

A: Whole


Q: Who is number 1 on your top 8?

A: No one, I don’t even have a top 8.*


LASTOLOGY



Q: Last friend you talked to?

A: Charles


Q: Last person who called you?

A: A bill collector


Q: Person you hugged?

A: My roommate Trish



FAVORITOLOGY



Q: Number?

A: Don’t have one


Q: Season?

A: Summer



CURRENTOLOGY



Q: Missing someone?

A: No


Q: Mood?

A: Depressed-have to put my cat Duke down


Q: Listening to?

A: Don’t Give Up-Peter Gabriel/Kate Bush


Q: Watching?

A: Don’t watch much anymore-Last thing I really watched was the Olympics (swimming and gymnastics)


Q: Worrying about?

A: The economy



RANDOMOLOGY



Q: First place you went this morning?

A: Bathroom.


Q: What can you not wait to do?

A: Fall in love for the first time.


Q: What’s the last movie you saw?

A: Can’t remember


Q: Do you smile often?

A: Yes, but not in the last couple of days, my cat is dying!


Q: Are you a friendly person?

A: Yes