Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Happy New Year!

Well another year has come and gone. 2008 has had some major ups and downs. I look forward to 2009. I don't make resolutions. I do have goals. Here is my list of things I would like to accomplish in the new year!

Quit Smoking

Tone and reshape my body

Publish my second book of poetry

Earn or save enough money to attend the HTC arts festival in 2009

Take some art classes.

These goals are very realistic and attainable if I put my mind to it!

I hope all of my friends have a safe and happy new year's celebration!!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Letting Go

During the last couple of weeks I have been letting go of some things.

First off I had to let my cat Duke go by putting him to sleep. That was such a heartbreaking thing for me to do. I feel empty and so alone now it is very sad and depressing.

About a week or so ago Safe Nest came to my house to pick up clothing donations. My roommate told me to get rid of all of my oversized clothing now that I am much thinner. This was easy and hard at the same time. I have been reduced to a few pairs of pants and a couple of dresses.

I had a talk with my roommate about people who are in my life who I have met when I was in a self destructive phase. They really don't keep in touch with me at all and it is hurtful and frustrating. I told her about one person who has repeatedly pushed my buttons, used and hurt me to their advantage. She asked me why do I want to maintain a friendship with this person after all that this individual has done to cause me pain. I told her that I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and then she called me a masochist. It was then I realized that she was RIGHT!!!

The thoughts turning in my head are these, I let all of this go what do I have left? What do I have to look forward to? What can I do to replace what I have lost?