During the last couple of weeks I have been letting go of some things.
First off I had to let my cat Duke go by putting him to sleep. That was such a heartbreaking thing for me to do. I feel empty and so alone now it is very sad and depressing.
About a week or so ago Safe Nest came to my house to pick up clothing donations. My roommate told me to get rid of all of my oversized clothing now that I am much thinner. This was easy and hard at the same time. I have been reduced to a few pairs of pants and a couple of dresses.
I had a talk with my roommate about people who are in my life who I have met when I was in a self destructive phase. They really don't keep in touch with me at all and it is hurtful and frustrating. I told her about one person who has repeatedly pushed my buttons, used and hurt me to their advantage. She asked me why do I want to maintain a friendship with this person after all that this individual has done to cause me pain. I told her that I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and then she called me a masochist. It was then I realized that she was RIGHT!!!
The thoughts turning in my head are these, I let all of this go what do I have left? What do I have to look forward to? What can I do to replace what I have lost?
I am to a point now that I am no longer a fledgling writer but I am not an expert either. How well I write depends on how I feel at any given moment. So please don't hold it against me. I am traveling a long road to understand more about myself and to just deal with life as it comes. "Sometimes It's A Bitch...Sometimes It's A Breeze".
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- I am a recently published poet who is trying to change careers. The butterfly symbolizes change. I want to go from the caterpillar to butterfly; spread my wings and fly.
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3 comments:
Personally, I am a true believer that people come in and out of our lives for a reason good or bad. I embrace and learn from others regardless of their flaws. A lot of what I've experienced and went through is who I am today.
I don't think that you are macochist (spelling) I think that you are human! We all try to give others the benefit of the doubt and through trial and error we have to come to terms that we cannot always have everyone in our lives.
Abuse is big. And as you know, if someone never experienced this before they don't get it.
The Emotionally Abused Woman is suppose to be a good read and it is on my list for the New Year!
Letting go is hard. But when you can do it, it lightens your soul. Good for you, I say.
Just wanted to wish you a very Merry Christmas Marie! xo
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