Well as some of you know I have been experiencing some unpleasant discord in the house where I live. As of yesterday afternoon it was made clear to me excatly where I stand in this household.
I had lunch with the owner of the house and I began to share my concerns about my saftey and my on-going conflict with another member of the house. She made it clear that if it came down to me or him that I would have to be the one to go and that I had options. I thought to myself what options? Going back to live with my parents-that is definitely NOT an option. I would be trading one unhappy situation for another. This is the person who crashed her computer and now it is going to cost her a substantial amout to be fixed. It just seems to me that I am nothing else to her than a business arrangement. What happened to being friends. Silly me! This is why I aim low when it comes to dealing with other people so I don't get overly disappointed. It seems in this uncaring world I live in, I cannot really open myself up to be vulnerable. I desire to open my heart to others, it seems I have struck out again. What a sad realization this is.
It has been also made clear that I am just a guest in this house. Well here is how I see it. I am a tenant who pays the rent and I expect certain things in return. It seems all that has been happening is that these people want to use me for what I can give them. The only knocks at the door are when these people want to use my car to go pickup girlfriends and other questionable activities and nothing else. Fortunately, the owner's car has been fixed and now they don't rely on me as much anymore.
I guess what I have to do is start being more assertive and start surrounding myself with healthier people who will truly care about me but the problem is where do I find these healthier people? So I guess until this happens I will have to interact with these people at a safe and polite distance. It upsets me now that I have to this. Oh Well, life goes on!
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5 comments:
Have you considered looking for a new place to live with new roommates? I had a friend use roommates.com and managed to move in with some really nice people. It originally started as merely the business arrangement you seem to find yourself in right now, but it grew into a close friendship.
Maybe if you tried things backwards like that it might work out to your advantage. Just a thought.
Take care of you!
Sid has a good suggestion there - would it be possible to move somewhere else? It's tough to find the right roommates. There are more users and weirdos out there than there are reasonable people, but you have more choice than simpluy staying where you are or moving back into your parents.
If you pay rent then you should be able to stay. Sounds like they are looking for an excuse. It's b.s. and I hope you find somewhere better to live.
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this Marie. But you will be in a happier situation in the end and that's the main thing.
Thanks everybody!
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