Monday, April 27, 2015

Reflections.....Part 2

During my various stages in the recovery process, I have learned to trust my instincts and my perceptions and my powers of observation. Which leads me into this post.

I have come in contact with a woman who is very insecure.  From watching and interacting with her I can see that people are clearly afraid to be around her and approach her. She can tend to be very rude and arrogant at times. It appears to me that she repels people from her and they don't gravitate to her.  This is very sad indeed.  Then I had one of my many epiphanies:

Oh My God, this was me!

 I am to a point where I cannot and will tolerate this kind of behavior from anybody.  However I can understand it and feel compassion.

I am now at a stage where I can safely say that I am no longer in that dark place. I am no longer so consumed with anger, rage and guilt that I make people around me miserable and nobody wants to be around.  I do at times have bouts of insecurity.  I figure well I am a work in progress.  This situation  reminds me of a poem I wrote called Nothing Is Right.  This poem was written from a very dark place while I was in utter despair.  Just going to quote a couple of lines as it pertains to this post:

                                  Nothing is right; nobody wants near, they all run away because of fear.

 Until we do some soul searching and make changes in our lives, we will always be stuck in the same place.                                 

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