Went to the pdoc today and it was very interesting. I told him my history of emotional outbursts, chronic depression mixed with periods of "happiness," floating from job to job and he thinks I may have bi-polar. In addition to the Zoloft he prescribed Depakote to stabilize my mood. I got a month's supply of both meds. I am hopeful that he will give me a more accurate diagnosis. I have also thought I could be manic depressive. I am wondering what is the difference? This journey for me is far from over. Christ, how much more can I take? I need to find out EXACTLY what the fuck is wrong with me so I can get effective treatment and maybe just maybe have a shot at a life. I am so tired of living like this!
I am going tomorrow to the state mental health clinic on West Charleston to see if I qualify for mental health services without insurance. From what I read they provide services based on income so my out of pocket expenses would be minimized. I am also seriously considering applying for SS disability. I would like to wait until I have a clear accurate diagnosis before I pursue that option; but who knows how I will feel tomorrow. I just might wake up tomorrow and say fuck it I have had enough of this crap!
I want so much to feel better. It just seems hopeless at the moment. I am tired of being ill. As I have said before, I did not ask for this shit, I am just playing the hand I was dealt which SUCKS! I hope the Depakote will help me feel better. At this point, I am very doubtful. Only time will tell.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
Marie~
Bipolar is just the new, politically correct way to say manic-depressive... they are the exact same diagnosis.... the treatment is exactly what he gave you, a mood stabilizer (depakote) and an antidepressant (zoloft).. sometimes an antipsychotic or antianxiety is added... there are TONS of sites with TONS of info out there to help you out... but just know you are SO NOT ALONE and that if you see one or the other term they are one in the same, some people just prefer one or the other.... i have always felt having a diagnosis helps me to define and deal with my emotions, that way i can at least say "hey, it may be abnormal, but at least it is normal for a bipolar person"... ya know! i was diagnosed 12 years ago and have done nothing but research since that time, so feel free to ask away......take care and good luck... settling into a diagnosis can take time, but it can also be comforting....
Shannin, thanks for the info. I am taking your advice and starting to research. I know I am not alone. It is support from you, sans and sid that is going to make this better for me.
The unfortunate thing is my family. How do I educate them and make them aware? You know about the family member who died suffered from the same exact thing. I cannot use her name for fear of getting sued.
I am relieved and sad at the same time. I will take my meds and some sleeping pills tonight and start on acceptance.
Your support means so much. Take care. Talk to you soon.
OH...EEEKK..... CHECK YOUR EMAIL BEFORE YOU TAKE ANYTHING!!!!
Hopefully the Depakote will help you. Think that's one of the few meds I've actually never been prescribed.
Good luck at the mental health center. Some are good, other's aren't that great, hopefully the one you're going to will be a good one. Do you qualify for Medicaid since you have no insurance? Might want to try applying there first and see what happens. If you're not working, you may need to get on Supplemental Social Security in order to qualify for Medicaid benefits. Not sure, the rules are a bit different by state.
Take care & let us know how things went at the clinic.
i just realized you said you fear getting sued.. um, they have a whole site dedicated to her with her name and diagnosis... what the hell could they sue you for????
anyway... i am a pot stirer (nice word, huh?)
in nevada, you have to go to the state clinic if you don't have insurance, or if you have state insurance (medicaid).... it is your only option. it can be good because even if you are working and they have you on sliding scale, if you say you can't pay, they will still give you your meds and they never bill you.. they HAVE to treat you by law regardless of your ability to pay... it sucks sometimes because the drs aren't usually as good and you are usually somewhat limited on med choices (i know that depakote and zoloft are both covered by state though)....
im a wealth of knowledge... im tellin' ya! hehe ..toot, toot (that was my own horn!)
Thank you for visiting my blog. I have tons of links to blogs of people suffering from mental illness, you will find great support in blogland. I've been on Depakote, it worked great for me. Don't apply for disability until you have a diagnosis or they will give you the runaround, but do apply for state aid. Check out my website Take a Stand>, you'll find a lot of information on there as well. I will visit often, and don't worry, now you know you have a reason for feeling the way you've been feeling for so long!
honey, you aint alone! as shannin said, there are googobs of sites that has a lot of decent info on bipolar, depression, schizophrenia, you name it. that's one of the reasons why i love the Internet; you can just about find information on any subject.
hope the meds work for you!
Hugs from Chi-town
(((((((((((((marie)))))))))))))
miz e
marie
depakote did wonders for me--it was probably the best mood stabalizer i have ever been on--the only problem i had was that it caused my hair to fall out--i was told to take centrum silver and it would stop that from happening and then after about two weeks that side effect ends--i was probably one out of a gazillion people who didn't stop losing there hair so i changed to something else--but--for nearly everyone else it ends fairly quickly
i wish you luck with it--it is a pretty good one to be on
lyns
mariebbb
oh btw you can apply for disability online. go to
http://www.socialsecurity.gov
and just follow the prompts.
Good luck!
Post a Comment