I went to the clinic today to be evaluated. The man who evaluated me said he thinks I am not bi-polar. So, I have one doctor telling me I am and another telling me I am not. Can we please make up our minds? I am so aggravated and frustrated that I could kill someone. I think I need to get a third opinion. Ya think? I guess the reason for the no bi-polar is that I cannot clearly remember being in a state of "euphoria." Is that the ONLY red flag? From the research I have done, I think not. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride and I cannot get off. Shannin, I will be calling you soon. I need someone to talk to about this. To anyone who does not believe I am ill or thinks I need to grow up, don't read this post. Because I will tell you to fuck off!
On the way home from the clinic, I was making a left hand turn and I got hit by two cars. The passenger side of my care is a mess and is totaled. Now I have no car to get to my training sessions and my new temporary job which starts in January. I bruised my right leg and hip and there are big bruises on my boobs. Ouch! The only positive thing I can say was that nobody was taken to the hospital. While the cop was writing the accident report, I got hit on by a guy on the street. He said that I was too beautiful to be single. I was like, leave me alone I am really not in the mood for cheesy pick up lines right now.
Well, that is it campers. I hope everybody had a better day than I did.
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7 comments:
a diagnosis is so difficult--it can be very subjective--between the questions asked/your answers/docs perception of your answers--it can be a big cluster f***--symptoms of different illness' often are the same and it can be an educated 'guess' as to what is really going on--which is one of the reasons so many people go through life being misdiagnosed
i know how frustrating it is--believe me--just keep trying--eventually, sometimes through trial and error, you will get the proper diagnosis and treatment
hang in there--don't give up...
marie
damn girl, that was a hellified day for sure! i'm just glad you werent seriously hurt, and that you are ALIVE to tell the tale.
i'm so sorry that your car got messed up for you to start your new gig...that bites the big one.
as for your dx (diagnosis); i think getting a third opinion is a wise thing to do.
things will work out. just keep ya head up and dont let negativity rent free space in your head!
btw thanks for lettin me borrow your list *grins*
Hugs
((((((((((((((Marie)))))))))))))
miz e (genelle)
They sound like they have the ups and downs.
you sound like you have a better grip on this then those you have sought advice from.
From what i gather from your blog buds is you are loved and well thought of. There must be a way to get the energy of that love in to you so your energy level goes up and your immune system is intact so you are redy to fight off those downs when they are coming.
I tell you this not from the outside but as someone who has dealt wtih the same bullshit since i was ten.
Get plenty of sun light. Involve yourself in acts of kindness to others. either as a giver, taker or observer of kindness. The obvious easy one is the giver, but the others can be attained as well.
And avoid self-medicating like I do it makes you lazy.
Good luck bud.
Just because you don't suffer from the whole "bipolar high", doesn't mean you're not bipolar. From what I was told during one of my groups, a person could suffer thru only one manic stage and still be considered bipolar, you don't have to constantly be going thru the super highs and super lows. I would get a third opinion.
I'm sorry about the car accident. I hope you're not in too much pain today. I'm glad it wasn't much worse than it was, though not having a car that runs is pretty bad when you need it. Is there any other way you can get around? A friend or family member by chance?
Hope things went more smoothly today. Take care!!
Sid
Hey everybody, thanks for your comments. It means more to me than you will ever know. Having a support system is a great thing to have when you struggle with illness.
From further research, I feel I do possess some of the traits of bi-polar. The suggestion was made that I have some borderline symptoms as well. Next time I go see the doctor I will explore that option. I need know for sure what my true diagnosis is I can accept it and get effective treatment. I am definitely going to seek a third opinion.
Again, thanks everybody! Take care everybody.
OMG what a TERRIBLE DAY!! I'm just glad that you are physically alright. Getting the diagnosis and getting it right is a bitch. It took me some 10 pdocs to finally get it right with the schizoaffective disorder. I knew I had bipolar but I felt it was more then that.
I hope that you get a straight forward diagnosis soon...just knowing what you're exactly dealing with helps a little.
That is a major pain in the ass to have your car smashed up. It seems sometimes with us mentally ill folk that we have a black cloud over our heads and that "only to us" could this happen mentality.
Keep your chin up as best you can girl. We are all in bad shape is seems right now and maybe we can just all lean on each other as a group and move forward together as a "union" of sorts.
I was going to say almost exactly what marie and lynette said.... i am bipolar AND borderline... and i agree that you do fit a lot of the borderline characteristics (from the very little i know of you)... but, it is also true that you only need one manic episode to be diagnosed bipolar... also, there are hypomanic states (which is what i experience) which are not as high as full-blown manias... i have seen probably over 20 pdocs in my life, at least half were clueless... now working in the field, it has been confirmed by other professionals that many of these pdocs are in a hurry or just don't care, especially in clinic or urgent care settings, and they just write a diagnosis without clearly looking at the symptoms... i have been encountering this with several of the patients in my case load.... good luck and get SEVERAL opinions... psychiatry is a guessing game mostly.... take care... sorry i didn't call back... i will try to block out some time today...
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