It has been a long time since I have written to you. I am grown up now (not really). My heart and brain have not grown up but my body has. When I was a little girl, I wrote to you every year listing everything I wanted you to bring me for Christmas: dolls, toys, games and my two front teeth. This year the list is not so simple it is very complicated.
*Please bring Shannin, Sid and Sans peace of mind, joy, comfort and happiness. They are hurting so much. I want them to be happy. Please cure them of their illness. Even though I have never met them, please let them know I care.
*Please cure all of us of our mental illness. Other people have no idea of what we live with every day of our lives. If you can't cure it, I will understand. If you could please lower the cost of our medications that would help.
*Please bring my family together. We had a death this year and this has torn us apart. I am sad that we are not close and functioning. Please help us heal.
*Please bring me belief in myself and the will to continue writing. I want to be successful at it. It makes me happy and I love to do it. Please bring me someone to love because I have been so lonely. Please bring me a new job. I need to pay the bills. Please help me to heal my broken heart because I need to live.
Santa, if you look into your crystal ball you will see that I am a good girl. It is my disease that makes me do and say not so good things. I will leave cookies and milk for you on Christmas eve. If they are gone in the morning, I will know you were here and that I got everything I wanted this year. If they are still there, I will have to wait another year.
Love,
Marie
xoxo
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7 comments:
oh god you made me cry! TY for putting me on your xmas wish list. and you out all of us before yourself.
you know, there are days whn i only continue to struggle because of the kindness shown by people like you.
i'm on a good kick. i feel it coming down a bit because i have to face a day of house cleaning to try to get my life in some semblance of order, but i'm still on an upswing.
hold you hand up to the screen--i'm sending you a bit of it.
Sans, thanks for the comments. Sorry I made you cry. It was not my intention. I am happy that you are feeling much better. I hope it continues.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear about the death in your family, Marie. Those things can either bring people closer or tear them apart, emotions are high at that time...but the dust tends to settle back down over time.:)
Interesting post, letter to Santa...or God...either would do, lol.
I hear so many people down this year at Christmas, maybe more than ever, it's a little disheartening...even me, when I normally LOVE Christmas...but I'll reach down in there to the bottom of my...whatever and find some for the Princess B, hopefully by Christmas eve at least?
Hope things improve for you, babe, the job would be such a load off, wouldn't it?
Thanks. Christmas is my favorite time of year as well. I am trying with all that I am not to let this get the best of me. Sometimes it makes me very sad that I am not close with my family (except mom. she is great). I am trying to stay positive but it is hard. Glad to hear from you again. I miss reading your comments. I have bookmarked your blog and I will visit and comment often.
hi marie...i'm so sorry about your loss (((((((((((((Marie))))))))))))))
thank you for those heartfelt words about all of us who fight to maintain our sanity day after day.
btw, if you have no insurance for your meds, several of the drug companies have websites with programs for patients who cannot afford or have no insurance to buy their meds...here's a few:
www.seroquel.com
www.zoloft.com
www.cymbalta.com
www.risperdal.com
www.geodon.com
i'm sure there are others, but these are the ones i could think of off the top of my head.
hang in there
Happy Holidays to you and yours
Thanks for the heads up. I will take a look into these.
i feel so honored to have been included on your list.. thanks, i can use it, santa knows! i hope things get better for you... i know brittany is looking down on all of you and will work it out for you sooner or later, hearts are still hurting right now.... take care of you... and, thanks again...
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